This weekend was filled with shock and pain for many people.
The world lost an amazing man this weekend, who was loved by so many people. A very respected, loved, sweet, and caring guy who’s smile was infectious.
He started a cycling team awhile back who gave to many charities. Chris raced on that team, and that is how we came to know him. Chris became his personal trainer for awhile. That made their friendship grow outside the cycling world. I, personally was not great friends with him. Not because I didn’t want to be. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but nothing went beyond the occasional party, local bike race or the occasional meeting at the gym. Whenever we did see each other, he always gave great hugs.
We actually hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. He backed off the cycling circuit and headed to Austin. However, this does not make the pain any less painful. When people met him I believe he left a great impression on the other person that could remain for years, if not a life time. At least, he did for me. For me, he was one of those people you wanted to be around all the time. He just gave off that great energy.
I remember he gave me a ride in his Porsche awhile back. I think it was a G5 at the time, I could be wrong. Nothing fancy inside, it was built for racing. Under the hood was all that mattered. I’ll never forget we laughed pretty hard when my head hit the back of the seat as he accelerated and I blurted out “Oh Sh*t” I think my eyeballs went to the back of my head as well. I knew it had power, but I didn’t know it had that much.
I think the hardest thing for me is to see the pain left on his friends faces. His best friend, for example. Her pictures on facebook share sweet memories that she will cherish for a lifetime. The pain she is carrying around cannot be comforted. Not in a complete way. We can try. The words and hugs are great, but as anyone that has dealt with grief knows that doesn’t even take the edge off.
This is your best friend. The one person who knows all your secrets, who you confide in, who you go to to share your greats with your heartbreaks. The one person who loves you for you, no judgement! Tells you when to get your head out of your ass and ready to kick ass when needed.
That’s a bond that I hope everyone gets to have in their life.
One photo she took really hurt the heart. I instantly put myself in her shoes. What if I had lost my best friend? How would I cope? I cannot fathom her pain. It is just too great to even try and go there.
I also think about his family. How on earth do you go on when your child (he was 47, but once someones baby, always someones baby no matter how old) is suddenly (or even if you have some warning) is no longer there? Your brother? Uncle? I haven’t lost anyone that close to me, and I pray I never do.
I am a sensitive soul by nature. I tend to put myself in the others shoes and feel a tiny fraction of what they are feeling. It took me back to when my stepsons mother passed away. I didn’t know her well. We talked occasionally when it came to Justin, but nothing like soul sharing. At her funeral, I was pregnant with Dane. I remember losing it bad. I remember Justin’s granddad asking if I was ok, and not to go into labor. I lost it because I put myself in Justin’s shoes, and couldn’t comprehend how that loss could feel to a child.
Loss hurts, no matter what. Death is just part of life. However, this wasn’t suppose to be it. He had so many people who loved him, and loved him from the depths of their souls. When you mix that kind of love with this kind of loss, it’s catastrophic.
I decided to take a photo of a flower today. I needed to find some beauty on this dark dreary day.
This was taken in Manual, f11 1/25, ISO 200, 50mm
To all who loved him, may God fill your hearts with peace and hold you close at this very difficult time.
Rest in Peace, Brad. You are and will continue to be greatly missed.