I am ready to get back the motherhood and the life that was stolen from me for almost 3 years. My last set back was 8 months ago, and I’m saying enough is enough!
I’m getting back in my photography game, and loving it. I did not realize how much I have missed it! I’m focusing on building my website, portfolio and blogging more and doing it right. Oh, how I have missed writing! It’s almost like a do over. Yeah, I’m ‘do overing’ the last 3 years of my life.
I think the turning point for me was when I attended my 20th High School reunion. It was a couple of weeks ago, so I have gotten over the fact that 20 years have passed by. In a couple of weeks I will be in my last year of the 30’s. I’m actually ok with that because I am ready for bigger and better things in my life. That will be for another blog post.
So, my turning point was leaving the house without “adult supervision”. What I mean is usually my parents are in tow with me. Just in case I have a dizzy spell or my good ear decides it wants to behave badly in an instant. I felt more at ease when I had someone with me that knew what I had been through, and what can occur at a moments notice.
Leaving the house without my natural security system was a bit unnerving, but I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it. I was very happy I did. It showed me that I need to branch out, even when it is scary.
Doing that was a huge Walk in Faith moment for me. Joyce Meyers says, if you are afraid, just do it afraid. Have faith God will be there and know that He won’t forsake you in anyway. He didn’t and He hasn’t. Even on the days that were my hardest, the quickest way around my fear was to refuse it, and thank God for everything at that moment. I don’t care if you look at your circumstances, and you are falling faster than you can think. Moments like that I thank God my children are well, the birds are singing, for any hearing I have left, I can be on the computer for an hour without getting dizzy, that I moved next door to my parents only months before the 2nd attack, that I can walk, go to the bathroom without help, my family and friends. There is actually so much to be thankful for. Once you find something small like clean water it is amazing what fills your heart. Remember, a thankful heart gets God’s attention. A complaining one binds his hands.
So yeah, I am do overing! At times my body may feel like all it wants to do is quit, but that’s when I have to turn on my walk with faith and do things. Even little things like laundry. Do everything with God and you will be amazed at what your life ends up like.
Here’s to building my website and doing it right, more photography clients, complete healing and a bigger and better relationship with my God.